Funny, Bizarre, And Irreverent Gems From Scottish Twitter

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mattstaff
Jun 13, 2021 8:00 PM EDT

Scottish Twitter is a goldmine of raunchy and irreverent comedy gems. There's something so wonderful about the way the Scottish vernacular translates to the traditional medium of Twitter. If you really want to have yourself some fun you can go ahead and experiment with reading these out loud. Just make sure that you fully commit to the bit. 

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  • 01
    Font - Liam Forrest @itsyaboi95 Hate when u ask someone where something is and they go 'try opening yer eyes' try dodging this jab ya melon
    via r/ScottishPeopleTwitter
  • 02
    Sky - Kirsten ... @blessedorkirst People on Instagram putting "Discovering remote Scotland" but they are five miles from Inverness
    via r/ScottishPeopleTwitter
  • 03
    Font - sean @sdel6795 Wouldn't mind bein a postman for a bit, especially if the summers gony be good ye only work from 9-3 don't get any night shifts just stoating about putting letters through doors, Sunday's off. Never see a ragin postie either. Always just sauntering about wae their cargo shorts on
    via r/ScottishPeopleTwitter
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 9615703040
    via r/ScottishPeopleTwitter
  • 05
    Font - crossy @crossy72_ Only downside to huvin this weather in Scotland is aw the mad insects infiltrating yer room, hawf expecting Ant & Dec to walk in and take me tae the trial area
    via r/ScottishPeopleTwitter
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 9615703552
    via r/ScottishPeopleTwitter
  • 07
    Organism - Sean @sdel6795 Mad how yer tastebuds change as ye get older. Would never have even thought aboot touching a mushroom when a was younger n noo am basically oot foraging in the woods tae find the elusive scarlet elfcap tae fling in ma carbonara for a more earthy flavour
    via r/ScottishPeopleTwitter
  • 08
    Line - Becky Brynolf @rabbitinahat I want you all to know that round the back of an Aldi in Airdrie there is an Italian cafe called Bacchialdi's Bacchialdi's Cafe & Takeway No dine-in Bacchialdi s CAFE & TAKEAWAY ALDI 353 Comments 500 Shares i 2K
    via r/ScottishPeopleTwitter
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 9615704320
    via r/ScottishPeopleTwitter
  • 10
    Font - Rob Thomas @RobThomasComedy Sick of people asking if l've got Crypto, I haven't got any actual cash I'm not about to start messing with make believe goth money.
    via r/ScottishPeopleTwitter
  • 11
    Font - JackC ... @JCrmo Da: typing... Da: typing... Da: typing... Da: typing... Da: ok
    via r/ScottishPeopleTwitter
  • 12
    Font - montyyyy @montyyyy17 Never understood why acts at festivals shout 'are you ready' aye two seconds pal a needty tie my lace pause the tunes
    via r/ScottishPeopleTwitter
  • 13
    Organism - Kev-Prince Kombi @KevKombi If Shoe Zone survives this instalment of lockdown 'll make it my life mission to join HMRC and launch an investigation into them for money laundering
    via r/ScottishPeopleTwitter

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Tags

humor twitter scotland social media ridiculous funny culture
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